In Those Jeans

My love of bargain hunting is not secret. There are many things in this world that I think you can find at a great price, if you’re willing to go to some less than glamorous places to look. This is one of the reasons I frequent National Wholesale Liquidators. Aside from the fact there is a location about two minutes from my place, you can find a boatload of stuff for cheap. As with many liquidation centers, their inventory is always changing, so I like to peruse the store every now and then to see what’s new, particularly in kitchen wares.

As I contemplated if I needed the square griddle pan that was less than 20 bucks, I stumbled upon these gems, courtesy of Italian cookware company Giaretti. Let the puns begin!

  • Tastes like ass
  • Is that a sausage in your pocket or you just happy to see me?
  • Those jeans are sizzling!
  • 1984 called, they want their jeans back

Shell Cracker – Have Simple Kitchen Tools Gone PC?

Did I miss the memo? Is nutcracker no longer a PC term? Is our culture getting a little too sensitive? I don’t care how lovely this design in, I refuse to buy it just because the company pussied out on what it is called.

Make Your Own Fucking Salad!


I was out with my buddy Eric for a FOS date and I decided to make a meal of it. We were at Biddy O’Malleys in Northvale, an eclectic Irish bistro with an overall impressive (and tasty) menu. I decided on a Caesar salad to round out my meal. I am not a huge fan of overdressing salads, not even because of the calorie cutting aspect, which is a plus, but because of the taste and texture of something drenched in dressing. So, I ordered dressing on the side.

Not really paying attention to the menu, I brushed over the name, “Knife and Fork” Caesar Salad. When the dish arrived it all clicked in a classic what the??? moment. All I could say was I felt the restaurant was saying to me, “make your own fucking salad!”



Side note, disappointed in the dressing…anchovy flavor overpowered all of it.

Brine – Bag friendly? Doubtful…


I have always been a huge fan of the retail chain Williams-Sonoma. I have several books, pans, and other cooking utensils that I love, have lasted for years, and still look as good as new. Yet even the greats can have their faux pas. Enter Brining Bags. Aka, a beautifully packaged, romantically marketed glorified zip loc bags created to hold way more weight than I’m comfortable putting in a plastic bag.


To my cooks and aspiring cooks out there, picture this, Thanksgiving Eve, prepping a 20 pound turkey to be brined in a few gallons of aromatic liquid, and you’re going to trust a bag??? I will buy one of these when Trojan creates them!

If you’re into brining and don’t want to end up with a salmonella laden wading pool in your kitchen, consider a large stock pot. You’ll thank me. I am not the “accidental” chef without cause.