Category Archives: what the???

In Those Jeans

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My love of bargain hunting is not secret. There are many things in this world that I think you can find at a great price, if you’re willing to go to some less than glamorous places to look. This is one of the reasons I frequent National Wholesale Liquidators. Aside from the fact there is a location about two minutes from my place, you can find a boatload of stuff for cheap. As with many liquidation centers, their inventory is always changing, so I like to peruse the store every now and then to see what’s new, particularly in kitchen wares.

As I contemplated if I needed the square griddle pan that was less than 20 bucks, I stumbled upon these gems, courtesy of Italian cookware company Giaretti. Let the puns begin!

  • Tastes like ass
  • Is that a sausage in your pocket or you just happy to see me?
  • Those jeans are sizzling!
  • 1984 called, they want their jeans back
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Shell Cracker – Have Simple Kitchen Tools Gone PC?

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Did I miss the memo? Is nutcracker no longer a PC term? Is our culture getting a little too sensitive? I don’t care how lovely this design in, I refuse to buy it just because the company pussied out on what it is called.

Make Your Own Fucking Salad!

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I was out with my buddy Eric for a FOS date and I decided to make a meal of it. We were at Biddy O’Malleys in Northvale, an eclectic Irish bistro with an overall impressive (and tasty) menu. I decided on a Caesar salad to round out my meal. I am not a huge fan of overdressing salads, not even because of the calorie cutting aspect, which is a plus, but because of the taste and texture of something drenched in dressing. So, I ordered dressing on the side.

Not really paying attention to the menu, I brushed over the name, “Knife and Fork” Caesar Salad. When the dish arrived it all clicked in a classic what the??? moment. All I could say was I felt the restaurant was saying to me, “make your own fucking salad!”

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Side note, disappointed in the dressing…anchovy flavor overpowered all of it.

Brine – Bag friendly? Doubtful…

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I have always been a huge fan of the retail chain Williams-Sonoma. I have several books, pans, and other cooking utensils that I love, have lasted for years, and still look as good as new. Yet even the greats can have their faux pas. Enter Brining Bags. Aka, a beautifully packaged, romantically marketed glorified zip loc bags created to hold way more weight than I’m comfortable putting in a plastic bag.

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To my cooks and aspiring cooks out there, picture this, Thanksgiving Eve, prepping a 20 pound turkey to be brined in a few gallons of aromatic liquid, and you’re going to trust a bag??? I will buy one of these when Trojan creates them!

If you’re into brining and don’t want to end up with a salmonella laden wading pool in your kitchen, consider a large stock pot. You’ll thank me. I am not the “accidental” chef without cause.

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An ancient Greek formula?

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I’ve stumbled upon this seasoning blend on more than one occasion:


As a Greek woman, I am kind of offended. The label claims this to be an Ancient Greek formula, yet according to the company’s website it is produced in the Ozark Mountains of Arkansas. Because nothing says Greek like a landlocked state in the southern United States? The product is also described as “a unique blend of 13 ingredients that is good to use on anything you would normally salt and pepper.” So….why do I need it? I really don’t need to say anything else.